Detective James McClain

Detective James McClain

More legend than man these days, James McClain is often impersonated but never duplicated. He rose to notoriety early in his career after graduating with a degree in criminology from Mayberry Elementary School in the crime riddled city of New New York. His greatest achievement came in 1990, when at the age of 13 he became the Lead Homicide Detective in Syracuse, KS. Despites the city’s vast population of 24 and the skyrocketing crime rate of 0%, Detective McClain managed to solve every single murder committed during his 2-month tenure. His diet consists of only one thing, busting punks for breakfast and savoring the flavor all day long*.

*All dietary comments are strictly metaphoric and do not express the opinions or recommended dietary practices of Dinner Detective. Despite the fact that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you should have a bit more sustenance than just a busted punk… like some toast, or an apple.